Who can give Pind Daan — must it be the eldest son?

Traditionally, the eldest son (Jyeshtha Putra) is considered the primary performer of Pind Daan, but scriptures have always permitted a broader hierarchy when the son is unavailable: grandsons and great-grandsons, the wife (Patni), daughter (Putri), daughter’s son (Dauhitra — especially praised in Garuda Purana as equal to the son), brother (Bhrata), nephew, and other sapinda relatives. When no family member can perform the ritual, a qualified Vedic priest (Ritwik or Purohit) may perform it on behalf of the family. A close friend (Mitra), disciple (Shishya), or even an employer is also permitted in extended cases. The spiritual efficacy of the ritual depends on correct gotra invocation, proper Sankalpa, and scripturally-correct mantras — NOT on the strict gender of the performer.